I encourage my clients to discern whether their actions are motivated by aspiration or fear. This perspective can be invaluable in decision-making, so I'll explore it today.
First, let me pose a question: Can you easily articulate your desires and what you want to do? Sometimes, people become so accustomed to focusing on what they don't want, what they'd rather avoid, and what they don’t mind doing. This inclination may also relate to today's topic. Therefore, if you find it challenging to express your desires, please pay close attention to this tendency as I explain it below.
When we feel compelled to take action, we can generally categorize our motivations into two types, as per my theory: Fear-Driven or Aspiration-Driven.
Fear-driven behaviors often stem from a desire to evade fearful situations, such as saying, "I exercise because I'm afraid of gaining weight," "I turned down this promotion because I want to avoid extra responsibilities," or "I got married because I fear the prospect of loneliness," and so forth. Typically, when we engage in such behaviors, the fear doesn't dissipate; instead, it tends to gradually intensify. Moreover, we eventually tend to lose sight of what we genuinely aspire to achieve, which is a common tendency.
Although it may present more challenges, focusing on our aspirations and consistently pursuing them can lead to a more exciting and fulfilling life. For example, consider phrases like "I exercise because I want to feel more attractive," "I declined this promotion because I value my current work-life balance," or "I got married because I desired greater happiness with my spouse." When faced with two options, it is crucial to prioritize your aspirations over succumbing to fear. Overcoming fear by pursuing your genuine desires is a transformative process. As you become aware of this and cease nurturing your fears, your life will gradually shift, and you will discover greater enjoyment in it.
Additionally, if a situation can encompass both aspects, such as exercising to avoid gaining weight and aspiring to be more attractive, redirect your focus toward the aspiration that excites you most. In this way, you can enjoy the process more easily and happily!